Learning to Adjust to Feeling Average
Some Gifted Kids Get a Shock When They Get to Middle School
Aug 10, 2009
Adjusting to middle school is hard enough, but gifted kids may face special pressures. In elementary kids, gifted students were usually confident that they were among the top students in the entire class, as possibly in the entire grade, even if they did not do their assignments. The comfort of having impressed teachers and peers during science fairs, by meeting academic challenges, and dominating school events such as library reading challenges disappears in middle school.
Suddenly, other kids – who held the same stellar positions in their elementary schools – are in the classroom, and the shining stars of 5th grade feel something akin to average among a sea of similar 6th graders.
The Good News About Feeling Average
Feeling average in middle school is a welcome feeling for some students. There is one room where even highly gifted students have experience of being just like everyone else: the enrichment classroom. Middle school programs take on a homelike atmosphere for gifted students because they are usually with kids from their elementary gifted programs, and they are in familiar territory.
As different as gifted programs can be, there are similarities that tend to run through them. There is an open, engaging atmosphere. The pace of the classroom tends to move quickly. Students are expected to shine, to compete, and to be engaged. Gifted classrooms feel normal and comfortable for students who grew up in enrichment programs.
The Bad News About Feeling Average
Feeling average can be burdensome to students who are already frustrated and overwhelmed by middle school. Students have to adjust to a new world – middle school – on uncertain footing. The middle school enrichment teacher is new to students, and the program will have more frequency than elementary pull-out programs. The new teacher will be just one of many new teachers, and for students who are highly competitive, there is the urge to pull ahead of one's peers, even in the homogeneous gifted classroom.
What's Wrong With Average?
There is nothing wrong with being average or feeling average. If a gifted student isn't strong in an area, that should not negatively impact his self-image. If a gifted student doesn't want to use her gifts and talents, she should not be overwhelmed by pressure to do otherwise. However, if students are making the choice to blend into the herd out of a fear of competition, or out of intimidation by the new additions to their school worlds, parents and teachers should recognize what motivates those choices.
Parents and teachers need to listen to their middle school students about their experiences. Everything will feel new, and some students may have some longing to return to elementary school, initially, but unless kids are having a hard time adjusting to the stresses of middle school, it is time for teachers and parents to help kids learn to work together, but compete individually. It is time to learn to be friends with foes, to compete against friends, and to consider that all part of learning.
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